Hogwarts School Of Zim and Gir
by Jane the Unknowing
Summary: Zim is accepted into Hogwarts! A way to not only loose the Dib-Filth, but to learn magic! Watch as Zim, Harry, and the occasional Gir try to save the wizarding communtiy from Lord Voldemort.
1. A letter

**I'm the author of Hogwarts school of doom and more doom... my dad doesn't want me on my old account anymore because of P3PSII... my dad thought he was being stalkerish... (he kinda was...) he deleted my profile, changed my password for fanfiction and that E-mail, changed my pen-name, everything... I feel terrible because of people who want me to finish it... I'm sorry... thank you for liking my story honestly, I didn't think anyone would like it, but, I guess they did... so, thank you, and I'm sorry... And yes, I copied the letter from the book, LOOK IT UP! ITS EXACLY LIKE THE ONE IN THE BOOK! So, without further ado, I give you, Hogwarts School of Zim and Gir.**

**Chapter 1-**

Zim woke up that morning, with an owl pecking at his window, at first he questioned it. Wondering if it was some sort of spy camera. Eventually, he thought that was normal human bird behavior, thus he ignored it. It did not stop. Zim clenched his teeth and quietly growled, while he reluctantly got out of bed to opened the window. Zim was going to hit the bird, but, instead it stuck out its leg, it held a letter. He tore it off, and immediately the owl flew off. Zim looked at the letter, it had a red wax seal on it, bearing an H. After studying it a bit more, he opened it, and read-

_Hogwarts School_

_of Witchcraft and Wizardry_

_Headmaster:Albus Dumbledore_

_(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,_

_Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. Of Wizards)_

_ Dear Mr. Zim_

_ We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. _

_ Term Begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later then July 31._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Minerva McGonnagalle,_

_Deputy Headmistress_

"Hmm," he thought this over, it could just be a plot made my the Dib-Worm, but what if it was from someone more important! Like the FBI! With power to actually capture him! Zim then mentally slapped himself, and laughed a bit. He was overreacting. He had spent too much time on this ball of filth, after all, this could be real. A reason to get far far away from the Dib-Monkey and his scary sister, the only people who were any threat to his mission, if he got away from them, then he could continue his mission without worry of being discovered! And he could get more information... This wizardry could be useful...

"GIR!" he yelled, making up his mind.

Gir than ran into the room, his eyes changing to red as he saluted for those few seconds before they would turn back into the turquoise.

"Yes my lord!"

"Gir, we are going, to this, Hog-warts, pack your things."

"YAY!"

Gir than ran out of the room, and than ran back with a slight spring to his step, bringing a suitcase that looked like it was filled with nothing but rubber pigs.

Zim walked into the kitchen, went down the toilet/elevator, went up to computer, pressed some buttons, and that disguise thing came up through a hole in the floor,

"Now," he said calmly, "were going to need new disguises, I'll be going as a human, but you, can go as a cat, owl, or toad..." he said only after rechecking his list of school supplies. "Lets do cat, its pretty close to dog."

He shoved Gir into it, pushed some more buttons, and out came, a green cat, it looked just like his old doggy suit, but it was, well, a cat.

Zim felt like his was fine, he just needed to get wizard robes. They had about a month until they had to get to platform 9 ¾.

"Common Gir, we need to get in the voot cruiser and go to a place called, Diagon Alley."

"Can we make biscuits?"

"No Gir, never again shall we make biscuits!"

And thus Zim got his things packed, he downloaded computers mainframe data-line, into a transportable case, it looked just like a red laptop with the Irkan symbol on the case. He stuffed that into his pack, along with his spider-legs, he decided to leave all of his lasers and such. After all, if he was going to learn magic, why would he need weapons that would just slow him down?

Zim than grabbed gir, Gir's suitcase, and hopped into the voot, along with Gir. He set the coordinates to his best guest of location. The duo then flew up into the bright blue sky of the afternoon. Off, to Europe, soon, they would be there, and there adventure would begin!"

**Dib-**

Dib looked of toward ware Zim's voot flew off, and sighed, realizing that it was now the end of the first chapter, and he was only just being added, "Hey Gaz," he yelled, almost unconcerned, "I don't think were gonna be mentioned in this, do you."

"Be quite." She sneered, and went right back to her video-games and pizza.

**And no, Dibs giant head shall not be in this Fanfic, I'm Sorry for the inconvenience.**


	2. Enter Harry

**Contest! If you can draw, send me a pic of Invader Zim! Any seen from my story shall do, the more creative, the better! Ends when the Fanfic dose. **

_**Happy Late Birthday Donald!**_** It may have been on March 21, but you already got the original copy of the poem. Hope it still means as much. After all, you're my older brother, and as you know from that one horrible camping trip, you're more of a parent than ours are. And I love you, so much. Happy 19****th birthday. Here's a poem I wrote.**

**To the Outside World**

**We All Grow Old**

**But not to Brother and Sister,**

**We Know Each Other**

**As we Always Are**

**We Know Each Others Hearts**

**Family Jokes**

**And Feuds**

**Family Grief **

**And Secrets**

**They Love Each Other**

**They Live Outside **

**The World Of Time**

**And Lies**

**On another note, sorry its been really hard to find time to post this, whenever I start to, my mom gives me several things to do. And, I, well, I have a boyfriend... I know I put something like this on my last story, but, well, last time... It was just some guy on the internet. I know it was stupid, but when every one you know hates you, and then just when you give up hope someone comes and makes you feel needed... Its nice... But this time I know him. He's just the kind of person I want to live my life with.**

**Enough about me!**

**Zim is going to act, normal, at least, more than he usually would.**

**It took me forever to write the list of items, please read it.**

**This is really hard to write, Harry is, just, not compatible with Zim! They just cant be the two main characters! Its impossible to write this story!**

**Thank you Invader Lye, stalkers scare me too, and I'm glad you're looking forward to more updates!**

**Thank you EE Lover, you have no idea how many people said that! I hope you read author notes now! Oh, and thanks for making a fail author like me one of your favorites!**

**Thank you Rachpop15, but you don't have to get me a present. Nice thought, but still!**

**Thank you RubyFireGem. Sorry if it was confusing, don't worry, Zim has his spider legs.**

**Thank you HamhaPHKFan, hope you like this chapter!**

**And many thanks to you Invader Elze, for being one of the best beta-readers out there! You really brought this together!**

**Sorry, not much happened in the last chapter... This one should be better.**

**Chapter 2**

**Enter Harry-**

Zim had crashed the voot cruiser.

Sure they made it to Britten, but just before Zim had managed to find a place to land, a bee had swooped down and run into the voot, and we all know what happens when Zim hits a bee... So, they were in London, probably for good. Unable to get back.

But Zim refused to let that put him off. He had work to do!

Thus, they searched for a place called the Leaky Caldron, and it didn't take very long. Considering a, well, VERY tall person with a thick messy beard was heading straight for it, accompanied by a MUCH smaller boy, with messy black hair and startlingly green eyes. He figured they knew where they were going, so maybe he could follow them; but, if they got suspicious... NO! He would start talking to the boy; and go in completely unnoticed! The headed towards the shabby bar-place; Zim needed to hurry. He picked up Gir and ran a ways over until he got to the younger one (probably a student as well).

"So, I got a letter for the… school; any idea on how we get to this, Dia-gon Alley?" Zim started off.

"Nope, I'm just following Hagrid; he's the gamekeeper at Hogwarts." replied the boy, motioning to the tall bearded man.

"Can… well… I follow you guys?" He said, nearly sickened by what he just said.

"I don't see why not." The boy looked cheerful, but nervous.

It was humiliating the he had to ask a human for help, but he seemed smarter than the rest of the earth-monkeys, in fact, most witches and wizards did. He thought that perhaps, the magical population was just smarter. After all, the muggles, as they were called, didn't even notice the Leaky Caldron. Maybe he could find humans to make "friends" with. He thought of Keef, shuddered, and pushed the thought to the back of his mind. Zim pondered on this until the boy started to make conversation with him.

"So, why are you, well, green?" he sounded more curious then suspicious.

"It's a, skin condition." It was second nature to reply with that.

"That's cool, I guess, what's your name, and why is your cat eating a waffle?" He said as he looked at Gir oddly and pointed slightly.

"My name is Zim," Zim said, now worrying that this guy was onto him, he could ask questions. That's what all the Earth-Monkeys at his old skool did as they talked. "My cat's name is Gir, and, he just likes waffles, I'm not exactly sure why. Anyway, what's your name?"

"Harry, Harry Potter."

Then, Hagrid interrupted with a, "common Harry, were almost ter the Leaky Cauldron!" Zim was startled by the unsuspected accent.

"Aren't you coming Zim?" He turned to Zim with a friendly smile; the kind he never got at his old skool. He figured this could make things... almost nice; almost. He was still on a planet of earth filth.

"Yeah, I'm coming," Zim returned the smile.

They walked in and nobody looked at them like they were any different, this seemed to surprise Harry more than it did him. Zim walked alongside Harry but behind Hagrid. When Hagrid got closer to the bar counter, the man serving drinks laughed like he had known Hagrid all his life. Zim thought that he most likely had.

"Hagrid!" The man said cheerfully, "Come for a drink?"

"No Tom, I can' be drinken' on the job; got Hogwarts business ter do. I'm taken Harry here ter get his things fer school."

Tom looked beside Hagrid to see Harry and Zim. He looked at Zim strangely, then moved to Harry, his eyes light up as he looked at his forehead. "Harry Potter?"

Harry nodded slightly; Zim could tell the man was freaking Harry out a little.

That's when things got creepy.

Everyone got quiet and looked at Harry. Then, as fast as they had become quiet, everyone got up and swarmed Harry, pushing Zim away.

People introduced themselves and shook his hand as Harry stood there just as confused as Zim.

They kept saying almost the exact same thing; 'The Boy Who Lived' was a common phrase.

It was really odd... This wasn't a normal thing, otherwise Harry would have expected him to do the same, and he wouldn't be freaking out. Did Harry know why they surrounded him? He must ask...

So after many more handshakes, congratulations, and other things of the sort (Some girl had hugged him) he was allowed access to Harry, he walked right up to him and said with a why-didn't-you-tell-me tone of voice, "Why did all those people want to shake your hand? Why did they call you the boy that lived?"

"I don't know," He looked out of it, like this was just too much too take in at once.

Hagrid stepped over and interrupted there conversation, "Ya mean I didn' tell ya? Ya already know how who-know-who killed yer parents an you lived, ya also know that he wen inter hiding tha same night. Ya should know!

"But Hagrid, just because he didn't kill me doesn't mean anything."

"Harry! He used," In a whisper he said, "The avada kadavra," he seemed to get over the hole thing immediately and said normally, "No one survives that! But ya did! Yer a hero ter millions!"

"So, everyone knows who I am?" Harry asked looking dizzy. "Oh, God…."

The trio walked over to some bricks. Hagrid starting tapping the bricks, Zim watched closely in case it was important, but before Hagrid was done Harry asked, "Are you muggle born? Your parents weren't any ware near here, or did I just not see them?"

"Oh well, the thing is-" Zim stuttered, trying desperately to think of a lie. Luckily, Hagrid had finished tapping bricks. The wall moved leaving a hole tall enough for Hagrid, he didn't even need to duck his head in! Both boys looked in wonder, never before had either of them seen so many shops (although Zim had seen close), each one was more spectacular than the last.

"This here is Diagon Ally! What are ya waiten' fer, we need ter get yer Hogwarts stuff." He said, looking at the boys that appeared frozen. Hearing this they looked up and laughed nervously.

Zim checked his list again:

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Uniform:

First-year students will require:

1. Three sets of plain work robes (black)

plain pointed hat (black) for day wear

pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar)

winter cloak (black, silver fastenings)

Please note that all pupils' clothes should carryname tags

COURSE BOOKS:

All students should have a copy of the following

The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1)

By Miranda Goshawk

A History of Magic By Bathilda Bagshot

Magical Theory By Adalbert Waffling

A Beginners' Guide to Transfiguration by Emeric Switch

One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi

By Phyllida Spore

Magical Draftes and Potions by Arsenius Jigger

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

By Newt Scamander

The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection

By Quentian Trimble

OTHER EQUIPMENT

1 wand

1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2)

1 set glass or crystal phials

1 telescope

1 set brass scales

Students may also bring an owl OR a cat OR a toad

**PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICKS**

"Um, Harry, have you ever been here before?" Zim asked, now slightly worried.

"No, I was raised by muggles; you?" Harry asked, the same worried look on his face.

"No, this is my first time als-"

"This is gonna be fun!" Gir shouted, making them remember that he was here.

"Alright you two!" Hagrid interrupted, "First stops Gringots, Wizards bank! We can pick up some oh Harry's Gold."

They walked past many colorful shops. Until they found a enormous snowy white building. Standing outside was-

"Yeah, that's a goblin," Hagrid said quietly. Harry and Hagrid walked into Gringots Bank, since Zim didn't have a vault, he stayed outside.

**Man... That was HARD to write! It couldn't have been this good without Invader Elze... I know I did it before, but the first time I did it, I just wanted it done. Now I care about it! I guess I matured over the time of me not being here... With the hole what's-the-meaning-of-life thing going on, it was hard not too...**


End file.
